Two Questions
What now? That’s the first question (The second comes right at the bottom of this post)
What now is a question we ask ourselves a lot isn’t it?
Usually it’s asked when a succession of bad things has happening to us. It’s said with a tone of exasperation. “What now!”. Or maybe when we’re stuck with no idea how to move forward.
But the ‘what now’ question I’m asking today is a different one.
I’m asking ‘what now are you living in’?
Is the now you’re experiencing actually more to do with the past? Or is it centred around the future?
Are you always time travelling? Going back to the past wishing things had or hadn’t happened. Then zooming ahead to the future and hoping that other things will or won’t happen.
Are you so busy operating your time machine that you’re missing what’s going on in your life right now?
Is your now really now?
I ask because it’s a question I’ve put to myself a few times recently.
We’re already a quarter into the year. In January I laid bare my plans for 2017. I started my 15 month project. So now would seem to be a good time to review how things are going.
Best practice tells us that for any goal to be achieved it must be quantifiable and measurable. It tells us that we must hold ourselves accountable.
Ok, fair enough.
But for me those best practices still reek of bullshit. The principles are reasonable but too often the implementation is heavy handed and counter productive. Sitting in the boss’s office at review time to go over your SMART goals. Oh yes, the smell of bullshit is strong again.
Those days are over for me so I’m not going to do a detailed quarterly review. I’ll summarise instead.
Could I have written more? Yes I could.
Could I have gone running more often? Yes I could.
Could I have made more progress with my Spanish? Yes I could
Could I have done more work on the boat? Yes I could.
Could I have done more of all the other things I could have and should have done? Yes I could.
Hmm, maybe I should jump in my time machine and go back over all that again. There’s plenty to beat myself up about isn’t there?
But what if I go forward instead? Is there anything to worry about looking ahead?
Writing– I’m still nowhere near finishing ‘A Foolish Odyssey’. Sales of ‘A Foolish Voyage’ are tailing off. I should be working 18 hour days and publishing more books.
Money – I’m going to have to take more money out of my pension to get us through the year. At this rate there will be nothing left in a few years, I’m going to be penniless. The tax rebate I was promised never arrived. Brexit has ruined the exchange rate, what if it gets worse? I’ve signed a new contract to stay in the marina all Summer. Should I have done that? SHould we have gone somewhere and anchored for free?. I really need to find a way to bring more money in.
Spanish – I’ve learnt quite a lot but I’m still too scared to open my mouth and try speaking it. Maybe I’m wasting my time. Maybe I’m just too old to learn anything new.
Health – I had toothache for two weeks. I can’t afford to go to the dentist. What if I lose another tooth. I don’t have many left. I don’t like to smile as it is. I’m 60 now, what other health issues am I going to have. I should sort out some health insurance but I can’t.
Family – Mom and Dad are getting old now. They’re on their own. What if one of them falls ill or worse? I’ll have to go back to the UK. What then? What if my daughter decides to marry her boyfriend? I’ll be a failed father again. I won’t be able to pay for anything. My brother’s out in Syria, I wonder if he’s OK? I know there’s nothing I can do about any of this stuff so I’ll just worry.
Gleda – I’ve so much work to do. I want that autopilot from the U.S. but the dollar rate is crap and I can’t afford it anyway. Then there’s the cruising chute and the new wind generator. What about hauling out and antifouling next year. That’s going to cost a fortune. I need to find a solution.
OK, yeah, it looks like I should go forward rather than back. Loads of things to worry about and work on in the future and I could easily add to that list.
So what now?
NOW, that’s what.
I’m staying right here. I’m ignoring the past and I’ll do my best to forget about the future.
Now is everything. Now is why I built a boat. Now is why I’m here.
Now is about today.
If I review where I am today I’ll have a better list.
Am I closer to finishing my next book? Yes I am.
Am I fitter than I was at the beginning of the year? Yes I am.
Do I know more Spanish than I did. Yes I do.
Is the boat in better shape than it was? Yes it is.
Have I done other things I’m proud of and pleased with? Yes I have.
I can’t change what’s gone before and truth be told I haven’t got much say in what happens in the future.
The only things I can control are those happening right now. Now is where I can chose.
Now is about new experiences, unexpected pleasures and appreciating what you have today.
All I can do is keep moving in the direction that feels right.
All I can do is what I can when I can.
I’ll deal with whatever else comes along in the best way I can.
What’s most important is to enjoy the journey.
The best way to do that is to live in the now and add something new everyday.
Do things you’ve never done.
See things you’ve never seen.
Go places you’ve never been.
I’ve ticked all those boxes this week and I’ll tell you about them next time.
So what now?
Now for the second question.
If you’ve read this far I know that you’re one of my long suffering followers. As always you have my gratitude. The fact that you’re here means that your opinion is important to me so would you do me a favour please?
I’ve spent the last week reviewing new designs for the cover of ‘A Foolish Odyssey’. The one below is my current choice.
I’d love to know what you think. What message does it convey to you? If you saw it on the shelves of a bookstore would you pick it up? Feel free to tell me what you like or dislike.
I have to make a decision over the next few days so if you could let me know sooner rather than later that’d be great. Thanks.
Love your blogs. Can’t wait for your book and the cover is great. As for every thing else, just get up and breathe the air and say to your self ” I am living the dream” xx
Thanks Chris, glad you appreciate my humble efforts. Don’t worry there’s no danger of me forgetting where I am and what I’m doing!
Hi Neil,
The cover is excellent, I’d certainly pick it up. My only small observation is the word “exemplary”. I know you mean it in the sense of “being an example”, which is great, but it does have the other meaning of “being perfect”. I don’t think that’s what you are trying to imply. Please feel free to completely ignore this comment, as it’s probably just me being picky, which I often am (ask my wife…)
Thank you for continuing with the blogs, I do look forward to reading them. I admire your courage in getting out there and doing it, while so many are happy to talk the talk but never actually do anything. Half a lifetime ago I “cast off” for a year, and I remember one of the scariest things was voluntarily going into a situation where I had no reliable income. As I say, I do admire your courage, and your commitment.
All the best, I’m really looking forward to buying the book.
Rob H
Cheers Rob,
Not picky at all. In fact you’ve hit on the one thing I had niggly doubts about myself. I think I’m going to swap out ‘exemplary’ for ‘enlightening’ or ‘inspiring’.
Thanks again
Great cover. It has plenty of depth so would be inclined to open it up and look inside. Bit biased though as I have always been a sucker for a silhouetted Tiki gaff schooner rig. Agree with the suggestion to swap exemplary for inspiring. Good luck Neil, I really hope this one is a best seller! Cheers, Stew
Love the cover picture, says to me some sort of voyage of discovery but the wording implies it may be too “self helpy”. I liked the mention of Polynesia on the first cover as that intrigued me and set the book apart. I wanted to read more of your sailing challenges in foolish voyage. One last winger 🙂 The spine font and spacing is a little difficult to read for me. Looking forward to reading it.
Hi Neil, best wishes for “living in the present” and cheers for your blog. I’ve been following your progress for years. I know that you put a lot of effort into your writing and I enjoy what you do. The phrases in bold (in your blog posts) I find distracting: the words themselves, without bold, are amply articulate and I prefer, as a reader, to decide whether a phrase is “stand-out” or not. However, I understand your reasons for using bold fonts to highlight phrases- you’re in good company and my view is definitely a minority one. The take-away phrase (not in bold, but you’ll remember it anyway): you are a great writer.
And you have a ton of material. Stuff we don’t know. (I speak for myself, but guess plenty would concur).
So, keep at it.
Re: your book cover. I’d pick it up, for sure. To me, it looks like an eye: both a human eye and the eye of a storm. I see a man fulfilled, standing at the centre of a storm; the the fruits of his years of labour- that divine Tiki -tantalisingly silhouetted in the background.
Very best wishes to Gleda and her crew.
-Chris
Thanks Stew, feedback much appreciated. Best to you and Zaya
Thanks for the comment Chris
I thought long and hard about the Polynesia cover idea but ultimately felt it was too obscure. It’s interesting that you picked up on the self-help message because actually that’s something I was trying to communicate. This book will be more about the build and my life prior to that. I’m not setting out to write a self-help book but I do want to pass on the life lesson I learned. Boatbuilding books are always going to have a small audience and books about building a Wharram even more so. I want to reach as many people as possible and give value to those with no interest in boats.
Hey Chris,
I really appreciate you sticking with me and thanks for the thoughts on my blog and book cover. I confess to using those bold highlights only because I’ve seen them on other blogs I value. To be honest they’re a pain in the ass to do. I’m thinking they might be dropped.
Thanks again
Hi Neil, another of your blog followers from the beginning here. They are such an email joy after wading through all the spams. Yes, I too think ‘inspiring’ would be better . On the other hand you could have a book cover illustration depicting together the first boat you had – including maybe the one in the bath(!) – then the second , then the third , and so on. Try and get them all in the picture but also showing yourself and the chronological evolution of both boats and man. Your last made me question myself : am I living in the past too much? Occupational hazard at 69 though. May The Force be with you! Kindest regards . Bye for now PS Any chance of visiting you some time maybe autumn-ish? Just for a jolly good chat and maybe a trip round the bay on the Skylark!?
Hi Michael
Great to hear from you and thank for your thoughts. The cover is almost finalised now so I need to concentrate on the words! Really appreciate you sticking with me all these years. You are of course very welcome to visit anytime.
Neil, re the Cover subtitle – am in agreement on removal of “exemplary”. Enjoying your first book, and your blog, thank you. PS – Just turned 60 myself; have similar concerns as you’ve stated in your blog.
I like the cover Neil. I’ll buy a copy! I agree exemplary may not be the right word…A bourgeois tale, a common man’s tale, or other such verbiage might be better. I am just acquainting myself with your blog. Fascinating stuff! It may help to know you are an inspiration to me and many others I am quite sure. While I hate seeing you holed up in that marina all the time I am sure there is more to it than this landlubber might imagine.
Hello Neil,
This is the first time I have written to you but the other night I watched all your videos. Now I find myself reading your build blog. If we end up building a Tiki 38, it will be partly your fault…
Anyway, you don’t seem like someone that it less than honest. So I would go for:
“a true tale of conformity, awakening and escape”
Hi Paul. Thanks for your comment and thoughts on the book title. I decided to replace ‘exemplary’ with ‘inspirational’ because that’s what I want it to be. As with ‘A Foolish Voyage’ I’ll let my honesty and truthfulness speak for itself. As for blaming me if you decide to build a boat you won’t be the first. I refuse to take responsibility though, it has to be entirely your decision!
Don’t hesitate to get in touch directly if you have any questions. You know I’ll tell it like it is.
Thanks Neil,
Am really looking forward to the build. I have a small warehouse in Sydney that I am currently clearing it out to make way for the project. i am not going to be able to assemble both hulls at the same time. i see in one of your videos you mention that is a bad thing. I will be able to cut out all bulkheads and other related components so they have the same profile but be forced to hull assembly, lay up and fit out sequentially. Once I have one hull I will need to stow one in the roof to make way for the other. Unfortunately I won’t be able to assemble the boat until they are completely ready to launch. Do you think this will be a huge problem? My shed at home is where I will manufacture most components.
Its early days and I am selling my extensive pinball machine collection to free up the space. (I have over 50 machines) This will also fund some of the ply and epoxy.
My budget for the build is $150k (AUD). I am also allowing 6 years – am then going to retire. I really want to do the whole thing by myself. The warehouse is 10 minutes from home and the shed is in the front garden. I am planning on spending weeknights in the shed and weekends in the warehouse. Do you think that is realistic?
In winter here it is 15 degrees C at night and in summer we have 30 plus. So am not constrained by really cold weather. That must have been really tough for you.
You did a great job of your boat. I think she is beautiful.
Best regards
Paul
Hi Paul
First of all congratulations on committing. That’s the biggest hurdle overcome. You’ve got what it takes to get this done. No question.
Building the hulls individually is perfectly possible and no issue technically. My reference to it being difficult was a purely personal comment about the psychology of doing it. Adrian Hall a fellow Tiki 38 builder in the SE UK had exactly the same space issue and still built two beautiful hulls. My only concern would be the beam troughs. Do everything you can to get them right. If I was doing it again I’d hire a professional laser level.
Your allowed build time looks fine. I recorded my work hours carefully. It came out as 4000 to get her out of the barn plus another 1000 to get her sailing properly. You should be able to improve on that given your better facilities and weather.
Don’t hesitate to hit me up with any other questions you might have. Use the contact form and I’ll respond by email