I Think I’m Beginning To Think
So here I am again, stabbing at the keys on my laptop in the vain hope that somehow I can turn the words churning round in my tiny little brain into something folks might actually read without losing consciousness.
Writing’s supposed to get easier the more you do it, that’s what it says in all the writing books I’ve read (I’m pretty sure I’ve single-handedly increased Amazons share price these past few years), but I’m seeing no signs of it yet and I’ve been writing a lot lately.
I have plenty of time to write as I sit here in this floating caravan park waiting for Spring and escape back to the open sea and peaceful anchorages.
I have time to write and I have time to think, and the writing helps me think. It hurts my head to think though, I can see why so many of us try and avoid it. I’m an expert at not thinking but I know I should do it more, not thinking has got me into a lot of trouble in the past and still does.
Anyway, before the last of you falls into an unconscious stupor, what I’m trying to say is that all this thinking has led me to make some changes to my thinking. Hmmm, thinking changes thinking, that sounds almost clever….. nahh, can’t be.
So here’s what’s changed.
I am now absolutely, 100%, rock solid certain what I want to do……. I want to write. I’d pretty much reached that conclusion before, but I made a mistake, I was focusing on the wrong type of writing. I was looking at writing as ‘work’, I defaulted to using what I already knew was a broken template, starting from a position of need and looking for a way to make money by doing stuff my heart really wasn’t in, going back to working for ‘clients’ and putting up with all the crap that comes with them.
What was I thinking? (Strange phrase that isn’t it? We say it even when it’s obvious that we weren’t thinking at all).
Thanks to all that thinking I can now see clearly that I was charging down a blind alley, destined to slam into a brick wall and do myself some serious harm…..Again.
That blind alley was ClearWords.xyz and all that went with it. NormalityFighter.com was just a side turning going the wrong way. So I stopped, backed out of there and drew a new map.
Some might say they could see it coming, some might say they knew I was headed in the wrong direction, I might say well done them. Sometimes you can be too close to something to focus properly, sometimes you get it wrong. But if I’ve learned anything over the course of this project it’s that you don’t give up, you learn from your mistakes and move on, so that’s what I’m doing.
So here’s todays news. I’m going to carry on writing but I’m going to write what I want to write. I’m going to write books and I’m going to self-publish.
I’ll be blogging more about why I’ve made that decision over on my NEW SITE, but it’s simple really.
It allows me to be me.
That’s what this project was all about, allowing me to live my life as I wanted to live it, allowing me to be me, all the time.
Chasing money isn’t me, I can’t do it. All I can do is write what I want to write, put it out into the world and see if a few folks will pay to read it.
Even if that happens it’ll take time, I’m ready for that, I’ll survive.
I’ve already got more than a few book ideas bouncing around in my head, but first I have to finish what I’ve started and get the one I’ve written published. I’m in the final edit and I’ll have a pre-publication copy ready to go next week.
So I have a big favour to ask.
Would you go HERE and give me your name and email address, then, as soon as it’s ready, I’ll send you a free copy in eBook format for you to read.
All I ask in return is that you tell me what you think.
I’m playing with the title and cover design at the moment so please feel free to let me know what you think about those as well.
I can only keep this offer open for a week so if you’d like to help, you can sign up HERE
Anyway I’ll leave you with this quote I found, it sums up what I’ve been trying to say far better than my own feeble text.
“Just because I liked something at one point in time doesn’t mean I’ll always like it, or that I have to go on liking it at all points in time as an unthinking act of loyalty to who I am as a person, based solely on who I was as a person. To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think. The only thing I am for sure is unsure, and this means I’m growing, and not stagnant or shrinking.”