Chasing A Mirage
I wrote the other day about my feelings that this year had yet to start. It seems a ridiculous thing to say because we’re already into the second quarter however the continued winter weather has only served to reinforce this feeling of being somehow in limbo, of waiting for things to happen.
Spring is heralded as the season of new growth, animals come out of hibernation, daffodils blossom and add a much needed splash of bright colour to the grey landscape, buds start to appear on the trees, the warmer weather encourages folks outside to breath in the fresh air and to feel the warm sun again.
This seasonal re-awakening has taken on increased importance for me this year as it’s coincided with a personal re-awakening.
All through the Winter I’ve worked as hard as I could to try and make the coming year the one that saw the start of a new life. The year when I returned to the sea in a boat built by my own hands, the year when I could really start to make my dreams real.
It wasn’t enough..
There’s an old saying that goes something like “failing to plan is planning to fail” and that’s exactly what I’ve done.
All through this project I’ve plodded along, head down doing what I could when I could with no thought given to the end. It was simply too far away.
Then at the end of last year I looked up and there on the horizon I could see it, I could see Gleda on the water, sails set, cutting through the blue water as dolphins danced around her bows. The sight lifted my heart and I quickened my pace with renewed energy keen to tell the world that soon I’d reach my destination.
In the months that followed I continued to focus on that vision but gradually I began to realise that for all my efforts I didn’t seem to be getting closer to it at all, and then with a sickening feeling in my stomach the reality hit me……. I was chasing a mirage, it wasn’t as close at it looked, it was way beyond the horizon, my journey was not over. I’d completely miscalculated, I’d failed to plan and now I could see things as they really were.
It crushed me, I felt like a failure, I’d let myself be fooled, I’d been stupid and worse I’d convinced others that my vision was real, they’d made plans, they were excited, they believed in me. Now I was going to have to tell them that I’d been wrong.
This realisation led to me making one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make since I started the project and it hurt me badly but here’s the thing sometimes pain can be a good thing, it wakes from your stupor, you learn from it and you come back from it stronger, renewed.
The decision is made, Gleda will now be launched in May 2014.
Others wiser than me will have seen this coming, here are some comments from recent weeks:
From Chuck:
Again: “Man Plans, God laughs”.
From Beat:
“Don’t rush it, my friend! Work on a boat is much easier on land than on the water!”
From Jacques:
“Maybe the dead lines and constraints you put on yourself are too high?”
From Beat Again: “You’re getting an early lesson in your transition to the sailing life where plans are sketchy letterings in the sand at low tide!”
So this month I will be putting what I’ve learned into practice by reviewing, taking stock and planning.
For me 2013 is just about to start and this time I’m going to do it right.
I’ve learnt my lesson and now I have one more chance to succeed. The Gleda Project was never just about building a boat, the time has come to show it.
An appropriate tweet appeared in my timeline this afternoon.
“The best time to start was last year. Failing that, today will do” – @chrisguillebeau
Dammit, Neil
Stop setting timelines. In woodworking. 1/3 of the time is making boards, 1/3 of the time is assembling the project and the last third is finishing. Mine ain’t done either, It takes time we never thought of. Mine will be finished 2 years ago, now 3………. oh #*#&%!
You have already achieved a remarkable feat that most of us can only dream of. To have accomplished so much in these benighted times is worthy of great praise.
Stay focused on the positives of the endeavor, not so much on the timing.
A dose of sunshine, daffodils and apple blossom is what we all need right now.
Made mistakes??………… maybe………… but you’ve also damn near made Gleda.
Neil. I had the same doubt about 3 weeks ago. i’m about to have a friend who is experienced building boats tell me if my timeline is reasonable and i’m sure he will tell me NO. i’ll just keep plugging away til i’m done.
Just in case you haven’t reminisced in a while, here’s where things stood a year ago:
http://thegledaproject.com/2012/04/11/1921-hrs-mixing-it-up-a-bit/
Quite a bit accomplished since then I’d say! Not to mention how much you did for the olympics and the rest of life.
I’m a big fan of enjoying the process as much or more than thinking about the goal. So I’m inclined to agree with the comments above. Screw timelines. Keep working, and enjoy every session. One day you’ll have been aboard Gleda for years and this will all be a distant memory. Try to appreciate this time while you still have it.
Other than that, I only wish I was there to offer some help! At least this way it gives those of us who would love to be there supporting on launch day some more time to get it together and afford a ticket.
Looking forward to more. I’ve definitely been missing your regular posts. With the time difference there’s almost always an update waiting when I get up in the morning, and knowing what you’ve accomplished with your day is a great motivator to make the most of mine.
Thanks again for the work you put in keeping us updated. It’s hard enough completing a project like this, let alone taking extra time everyday to keep us all informed. It’s definitely appreciated.
Salut Neil
C’est une bonne nouvelle pour toi. Continu à le construire à le finir et à le chérir. Prend ton plaisir maintenant et savoure le, car quand il sera a l’eau cette page sera tournée et définitivement fermée. Profite de ce moment que tu ne retrouvera plus jamais. On ne donne pas de rendez-vous daté avec un voilier c’est toujours la galère.
Bonne année 2013.
Olivier
This is good news for you. Continuing to build and finish to cherish. Take your pleasure now and savor it, because when she is on the water this chapter will be permanently closed. Enjoy this time while you have it. You cannot set dates with a sailboat they always change.
Happy New Year 2013.
Just pretend for one minute….you are close to the end of a long passage, your port is just a few days over the horizon, the wind picks up, the waves increase and you are forced to change course and go on a run. Three days later the wind dies down and you can resume course. Now your destination is further than it was 3 days ago. What do you do? You continue on knowing that port is not as close as you hoped, but you will get there eventually.
Hi Neil,
You know I have been in the same yard has you,
And this continuing winter has put me two months back on my bike projects.
I have had to force myself to visit the yard for a couple of hours a day, and that has been to much.
The constant jetstream wind has just been to much ,whistling around the old buildings.
Just keep pluging on with joy in your heart knowing that one day your dream will come true.
You know I am always there to help , has long as I can!!!
Regards Charlie.
Neil,
Come with us to Sete. You will see JW and plenty of other builders and architects. Sun will be bright (hopefully!), and this will give you plenty of energy.
Just a Ryanair flight away!